Good and Bad, Mostly Bad, Ways to Fill Your Empty Soul: #34 Save the Pandas

panda eating bamboo

What it Entails:

Let us first consider what a panda is. A panda is a bear that measures 4-6 feet at the shoulder and is classified as a carnivore. Despite this pandas choose to eat bamboo, a food almost devoid of nutritional value. As a result of this, the majestic black and white beast you see pictured to the left needs to eat 20-30 lbs of food each and every day, and as a consequence, defecates up to 40 times every 24 hours. Lovely.

So, Save the Pandas… Seems like the Pandas have given up on life, hope and survival on a species-wide level. Wouldn’t it be more respectful to let them march quietly into the night?

1. Cutest large predator in existence.
2. Should pandas ever become plentiful fewer people will be offended by that nifty panda skin rug that you want for your den.
3. Yet another way for humanity to assert dominance over an animal species.

1. The species has actively been trying to go extinct since it took on its near pure vegetarian diet.
2. One more dangerous creature left for children’s storybooks to inaccurately depict as friendly and harmless.
3. Some poor zoo handler has to pick up after them…

1 thought on “Good and Bad, Mostly Bad, Ways to Fill Your Empty Soul: #34 Save the Pandas

  1. Very clever idea for a post… I’d never really thought about it before but you’re right – It’s pretty ridiculous. The same could almost be argued for koalas and their eucalyptus; the key difference being the difference in rug quality and number of creatures needed to produce one…

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